What now?

I did it!  I actually finished Holding Me Up.  When I say finished, I’m not saying that there won’t be time for tweaks here and there – there’s always room for edits and revisions –  but for now it’s in a good place  – there’s a beginning, middle,end and I’m happy with all the sections.  In fact I am allowing myself a tentative pat on the back 🙂 

However I am also suffering from a severe bout of anti-climax.  After being pretty much entirely consumed by the book and its characters for the past year – well two years really if you count the day of inception – I’m missing it,  missing them and at  the risk of sounding a tad loopy, I’m a little lost, wandering aimlessly around the house or watching day-time telly. 

It’s not that I have nothing to do.  The house would benefit from some attention, there are closets just crying out to be organised, a garage currently housing way too much trash and I’m thinking that it might be nice to have a regular supply of clean clothes!  Also, I have a feeling my family might be pleased I’ve resurfaced for a bit, after all there’s milk in the fridge and a plentiful supply of loo-roll!   I’ve begun socializing again,  meeting chums for the odd coffee or lunch without feeling guilty, indulging in a spur of the moment shopping spree, I’m even contemplating arranging  a dental check-up – finally!  Yep there’s plenty of things I can do to fill the gap.  

Truth is though, that I have another writing project in mind.  I’ve been juggling it around in my head for a while and now plot ideas and characters are starting to push their way to the front of my mind.  It’s only a matter of time before I’m unable to resist their lure, in fact I’m looking forward to it.   But for now,  I’m still hesitant. Why?  Because once I get started I know  I won’t be able to stop.  I’ll be up late typing away, reading books and magazines as research, staring off into space, mug in hand, as I toss words and sentences around.   Car journeys and waiting rooms will become opportunities to write, even falling asleep will be a chance to develop characters.  I’ll forget to go to the supermarket and my kids will have to scour the kitchen for signs of food. We will have toast for dinner.  The washing pile will grow higher and higher. My family will begin dressing themselves straight out of tumble drier.  I will forget to attend parent/teacher night, the latest neighborhood event, or friends’ birthdays.  My hair and nails will grow long and I will not bathe.  I will have recurring dreams of escaping to a remote cottage with only firewood and coffee for company,  so that I can write without interruption.

So even though I can’t wait to get started, I am forcing myself to remain aloof.   Restricting my laptop use to emails only, removing all paper and pens from my bedside table so that I am not tempted to make any midnight scribbles.  Because that’s all it takes, one note hastily written and you’ve opened a can of worms.   

Ah but what fantastic worms!



Filed under creative writing, fiction, novel, Uncategorized, writing

3 responses to “What now?

  1. Yea for you Ella! My can of worms has been knocking itself over and crashing to the floor trying to open, but I haven’t let it yet. As with you, there’s the matter of organizing things, etc. I hadn’t realzied how much I let go of the domestic mundanes in order to listen to the muse. I like it that way! Cleaning and cooking are over-rated. XOXO

  2. Totally agree that cleaning and cooking are over-rated Machelle – let’s revolt! :-)xxx

  3. Rachel

    Feel like you’ve been peeking in my windows, Ella! It’s getting pretty bad around here while I’m desperately trying to finish this last revision. I have to drag myself to the grocery store at some point today though – I’m almost out of coffee creamer!!

    Enjoy the little breather and returning to real life for awhile. Those new characters will be waiting for you when you’re ready. You should be so proud of everything you’ve accomplished!!

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